Shake the Anger Habit!

Family counselor Doty and real-estate broker Rooney (coauthors of The Anger Puzzle) maintain that the notion that one should not hold anger inside is erroneous. Further, they contend that ""society as a whole has entered a trap formed by our myths about anger.'' Here, as in their seminars, talk-show appearances, workshops and counseling sessions, they offer alternatives. They say it is important to know how rage forms: ``Anger comes from pretending that we can see behind the scenes and know what ought to be.'' The trap comes when a person progresses from faulty observations to hurt, then to helplessness and anger (which provides ``temporary power''), to mixed feelings. This results in isolation, and ``because we're isolated, we're in no position to get accurate information in order to be effective in problem solving.'' The authors' prescription for getting out of the ``anger trap'': one must accept ``what is'' rather that what ``ought to be.'' Strangely, a three-page appendix that lists ways of ``getting through without anger'' is better expressed, more lucid and of greater value than the rest of the book. (December)