Everyday Acts and Small Subver

These essays admirably demonstrate the myriad ways women are re-creating their lives according to their vision of power, love or community. But freelance journalist Hochman's writing is less compelling: metaphors like ``her voice sounded like crepe being pulled over a washboard'' are distracting. And her wide-eyed description of her discovery of the sexism at the root of marriage laws will surprise those who've read even a minimal amount of feminist literature. Luckily, balance is provided with the everyday lives of real people, from single mothers, lesbian mothers or straight couples without children. A lesbian couple's tales of coming out include the difficulties of trying to get a joint membership at a discount warehouse. The author herself develops a sensual private ritual of challah-making every Friday afternoon as a reminder of her Jewish heritage. Roberta Achtenberg tells how, as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, she helps shape public policy to recognize the many ways families live; she introduced her son on inauguration day, saying ``he has played with so many different kinds of kids . . . that he already understands that having two moms is not the only legitimate form of family. First serial to Ms. (Feb.)