How Am I Gonna Find a Man If I'm Dead?

In this determinedly upbeat cancer story, Gaynes, an advertising copywriter, recounts ``the most painful and exhilarating experience of my life,'' taking us through the wrenching decisions she had to make starting with a choice between lumpectomy and mastectomy. She gamely accepted chemotherapy's extra poundage and loss of hair, as well as the loss of her husband. An advocate of experimental medical options, she coped with metastases of cancer to the lungs, neck lymph nodes, spine and ribs. Eventual removal of the other breast was followed by the failure of stem-cells blood implants and hormonal, radiation, acupuncture, herbs and experimental immune-reinforcing treatments both in the U.S. and in Russia. Living in ``suspended animation'' in that ``limbo time between tests and results,'' Gaynes continued to experience ``life to the fullest'' until her death in October 1993. (May)