Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity

Psychotherapist Cohen defines "loose girls" as female teens who find self-worth only through the attentions of boys, and who pursue self-destructive and promiscuous behavior. Cohen, who wrote candidly of her own history in her memoir (Loose Girl), now seeks to identify the loose girl experience and help girls gain power over their own lives. The author weaves stories of loose girls throughout the text, culling anecdotes from 75 American volunteers who e-mailed her after reading her memoir (to her credit, she admits that this is "not by any stretch of the imagination" a scientific study). The girls' stories, however, lead her to conclude that they all share in common a "dirty little secret"%E2%80%94the yearning to be needed. Cohen faults mainstream culture for giving girls limited options (virgin, slut, empowered girl) and promoting the message that young females should appear sexy without desiring sex. It is the culture itself, Cohen argues, that requires change, but until that happens (unlikely, especially with the added influence of the Internet and cellphones), she urges parents to help their girls find worth in activities other than the pursuit of boys, such as sports, academics, or the arts. Cohen also debunks abstinence-only programs, which, she asserts, compound the erroneous message that girls themselves are to be blamed and shamed for their natural sexual feelings. (Sept.)