iParenting: Staying Connected to Your College Kids (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up

Middlebury College psychology professor Hofer and New York Times contributor Moore combine original research and reporting in this examination of "iparenting," their term for a new generation of parents that employs technology to stay deeply involved in children's lives, even as the kids head off to college. According to the authors, who conducted surveys at Middlebury and the University of Michigan, many parents are in constant contact with their college students via cell phone, texting, email, Facebook, and Skype. But daily contact, they contend, hinders growth, robs kids of their ability to make decisions and learn from mistakes, and detracts from their college experience. The authors also discovered that parents have become increasingly involved in academic matters; many edit their children's papers via email, and intervene in academic decisions such as choosing majors or contacting professors. This "hypermanaging" trend often continues after college and into a career search. Urging moderation, Hofer and Moore point out that excessive communication is not useful for students, and also adds to parental anxiety. Instead, they suggest that before their child leaves for school, parents create a mutually agreeable "calling plan" that takes the student's need for independence and self-reliance into account. Though occasionally repetitious, this eye-opening text provides vivid examples of iparenting culled from the lives of contemporary college students and their parents. (Aug)