Your Turn for Care: Surviving the Aging and Death of the Adults Who Harmed You

Clinical psychologist Brown targets a little-known counseling niche in this disturbing yet gripping study. She estimates one of three girls and one of four boys from the baby boomer generation were sexually abused before age 18%E2%80%94mostly by family members. In an ironic reversal of roles, many of those abused wind up caring for those elderly abusers. The difficulties these caretakers must address include cultural background, gender expectations, and economic necessity, as well as crippling memories. Brown hints at the range of psychological traumas such abuse victims grapple with and avoids prescribing universal recommendations. Her two imperatives, obvious though they seem, resonate: abusive adults are the sole parties at fault and victims choosing to offer assistance must practice self-compassion and boldly consider their own emotional well-being first. But Brown does not pretend that any bromides compensate for detailed individual analysis; indeed, the variety of reactions that an abuser's death can evoke in victims illustrates the complexities of the human psyche. These alone should reward the reader seeking general understanding. Readers with abuse in their families should find abundant ground for reflection and, hopefully, a healthier life.