The Men Out There: A Woman's Little Black Book

Geared to women 35-55 on the lookout for a mate, this cautionary manual identifies 10 different types of men. The leitmotif is: women, watch out! For example, the ""instant family man"" longs to be part of a unit and craves the stability you represent, but he rarely learns who you really are. The ""commitment phobic/serially monogamous man"" may be a burnout still recovering from a past relationship or a ""pie in the sky"" who glides from one idealized lover to the next and fears marriage. Other types include the controlling ""champion sports/macho guy"" who lives to win, the narcissist/disarmer, the power or money addict and the workaholic-sexaholic-gambling man. Using numerous self-inventories and sidebars, the authors urge readers to sort out their motivations for choosing a particular type of male and to gauge potential love relationships against emotional patterns in failed marriages or affairs. Though its reliance on types necessarily leads to generalizations, and though the authors tend to overlook well-adjusted males, their handbook, for its intelligent insights, is several cuts above most self-help guides to romance. Shapiro is coauthor (as Susan Ripps) of A Passion for More: Wives Reveal Affairs... and Sisters/Devoted or Divided; Kasson is a practicing clinical psychologist in New York City. (Feb.)