Staying Together: The Control Theory Guide to a Lasting Marriage

``There are too many married strangers,'' asserts Glasser, originator of Reality Therapy and the Control Theory. Here he applies his principles to romantic and sexual relationships. Human beings, to be fulfilled, must satisfy one or more of five needs: survival, love, power, freedom and fun. These are genetically based, and not everyone's needs are the same. Thus the interplay of different needs determines whether a match is workable. For example, those with a high need for love should probably avoid those with a strong drive for freedom unless other needs balance out. Although two ``high-power'' people are nearly always ill-matched, according to the author, high-love pairs are not. By determining what makes us happy--our ``quality world''--we can decide how to stop ``choosing'' behaviors in potential partners that lead to misery for both. Included is a test designed to help readers and their spouses discover their needs and thus their compatibility. A thought-provoking addition to the self-help genre. (Apr.)