When Your Lover is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal

Forward has written several self-help classics about lousy, damaging relationships (Emotional Blackmail; Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them). Once again, she combines gentle empathy with no-nonsense advice as she examines men who lie to women and what women can do about it. Her goal, she writes, addressing women who have been lied to, is to ""transform the wounds of betrayal and deception into the wisdom that will illuminate your path."" From sexual infidelity to financial disaster, hidden addictions to secret ex-wives, Forward focuses on the serious lies that ""involve an intent to deceive"" and always ""harm us and our relationships."" She explains men's various motives, beliefs and behavior patterns, as well as women's frequent denial, ""collusion"" and acceptance of blame. Forward clearly describes the kind of liar she calls ""the sociopath"" and sternly warns women to steer clear of the beast and, if already involved with one, to ""leave immediately."" She then moves on to specific steps for confronting the (non-sociopathic) liar with the reality of his behavior and advises women how to set conditions for continuing the relationship and how to get support from friends, family and professional counselors. Buttressing her advice with examples from her practice, Forward offers some straight talk to women who may have forgotten what candor sounds like. (Jan.)