Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart

Chan, founder of the Renew Breakup Bootcamp retreats, debuts with the inspiring account of how a devastating breakup became a catalyst for her to help others heal. Chan establishes an immediate connection to anyone who has been unlucky in love: “It’s never about the ex. It’s always about the recycled pain.” In addition to stories of breakups—hers and those of the women who attend her boot camps—Chan offers advice on how to “live better, learn more,” and practice self-love so readers can thrive in future relationships. She covers the reasons breakups hurt (usually because one is caught in “linear model” of “date, move in, get married, have kids, stay together forever”), shame, self-compassion, and the stages of grief and separation. To move on from romantic difficulties, she recommends readers figure out their personality category—the career-oriented “overachiever,” perfectionist “superhuman,” relationships-oriented “pleaser,” the romantically pessimistic “jaded,” or the validation-craving “addict”—and consciously steer away from destructive triggers and behaviors. Chan also challenges the idea of soul mates and places some of the blame of unrealistic expectations in dating on fairy tales and romanticism. Those seeking comfort and proactive ways to overcome heartbreak will relish Chan’s upbeat advice. (Dec.)