A Pity Party Is Still a Party: A Feel-Good Guide to Feeling Bad

“Pain is part of the human experience... not a sign of failure, weakness, or spiritual disfavor,” writes psychotherapist Garner in her wise debut. Despite a culture of “anti-emotionality” that dismisses strong feelings as useless or illogical, the author notes, the full spectrum of emotions (including painful ones) is central to a rich life, and processing them, especially in groups, can spur healing. In brief essays, Garner explores ways of managing sorrow and melancholy, probing the ills of emotional repression (ignoring feelings “cuts us off from important messages our body is trying to communicate”), why it can be healthy to cry around others (“relationships require responsiveness”), and how to decide whether to trust another person with vulnerable feelings (“Are they consistent? Are their words and actions aligned?”). Intercut are bits of levity in the form of, for instance, a “Crying Bingo” card (squares list “on an Ikea display couch” or “at the DMV”), along with questions intended to foster connection to one’s emotions. Laced with wry humor (“Sure, life is beautiful, but good vibes only? In this economy?”), Garner’s approach to emotional health is permissive without being overly self-indulgent—readers can feel their feelings without getting consumed by them, she makes clear. This is one for the feelers who need a hand. (July)