The Sugar Jar: Create Boundaries, Embrace Self-Healing, and Enjoy the Sweet Things in Life

Wellness advocate Cheyenne debuts with an encouraging manual on how to practice self-love. She remarks that while she was working as a victim advocate in the U.S. military and caring for her young daughter, she “felt like sugar that was recklessly taken out of a jar and spilled all over the place” and realized that her distress stemmed from her inability to draw boundaries, which left her metaphorical sugar jar “completely open” for the taking. Drawing on what she learned from that period, she encourages readers to set boundaries and attend to their physical and spiritual needs. Setting boundaries might mean letting go of harmful relationships or setting guidelines for the behaviors one will tolerate from others, but she warns readers to not let boundaries become “barriers” that limit oneself (e.g., “I’m done dating. I won’t ever allow myself to be hurt like that again”). She devotes a chapter to how Black women can perform self-care and criticizes proponents of “manifestation” for underestimating the institutional obstacles that Black women face. Cheyenne’s compassionate tone is so reassuring that readers won’t mind that she doesn’t provide much concrete guidance, instead offering such supportive consolations as “You don’t have to apologize for being who you are.” This tender volume warms the heart. (Jan.)