The Onts

The debut book in the paper-over-board Secrets of Dripping Fang series introduces the 10-year-old Shluffmuffin twins, whose father drowned in a "Porta Potti" and whose mother was smothered by "a gang of angry bunnies." No one who comes to the Jolly Days Orphanage wants to adopt either Cheyenne or Wally, since her allergies cause her to sneeze constantly, and his feet "reeked worse than festering, maggoty meat." But the siblings' luck seems to turn when two tall sisters with large heads and extra hands (sinisterly portrayed by Fischer in a wordless spread) arrive at the orphanage. After taking the twins to their house in Dripping Fang Forest, the sisters tell the children to address them as Aunt ("we pronounce Aunt as ont , not ant ," the ladies instruct). Wally discovers that the two are, indeed, giant ants and are "breeding a race of super ants to enslave humans and take over Earth." Escaping into the forest, the twins narrowly escape some unpleasant encounters before temporarily taking refuge in the home of a professor and his wife—a large, hairy spider. Though kids may chuckle at some of these wacky bits, Greenburg's (the Zack Files series) outlandish humor often misses its mark. Ages 8-12. (Sept.)