It's Not Fair, Jeremy Spencer's Parents Let Him Stay Up All Night!: A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting

What gives parents power over their kids? ``The fact that children do care about what their parents think,'' says Wolf, a clinical psychologist and author of ``Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?'': A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager. What is called for, he says, is a new form of ``tough love'' in which the parent firmly makes decisions, sets limits and--most important--refuses to engage with a child's insatiably demanding ``baby self.'' Wolf asserts that decisions don't have to be fair or consistent; there are even times ``when it is very definitely okay to be an ogre to one's own children--when one's basic crime is against what they want.'' Nonresponse is a powerful secret weapon; parental nagging can also be effective. Scenarios illustrate how to deal with situations as achingly familiar as whining, fighting among siblings and temper tantrums in the supermarket checkout line. Wolf offers wise and witty advice to help parents preserve their faith in themselves along with their sanity. (Apr.)