Harpoons

After receiving a tip from a gang of baby thieves in Los Angeles, cat burglar Roman Loon steals the infant son of a wealthy couple. Roman is delighted with his 11-fingered, 11-toed acquisition: ``More fingers to burgle with, more toes to climb with,'' he thinks, naming the boy Scooter and training him for a life of crime. But Scooter later opts for an Ivy League business school and, following his graduation, enlists with a Southern California advertising agency to write promotional copy for a movie about the kidnapping of a baby. The film's star is Biji Steinberg, the daughter of Scooter's real parents. Scooter falls in love with sexy Biji, and confusion reigns before the two learn they are siblings. This brisk fictional debut packs ironic twists, entertaining anecdotes and amusing characters--such as FBI agent Niles Grosbeak, who tries to rid himself of a recurring nightmare about the kidnapping ring by putting a tape of a man laughing hysterically under his pillow, and ends up injuring himself instead--but is so short on suspense that the plot suffocates. (June)