Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends

Franco, a psychology professor at the University of Maryland, debuts with a smart and savvy guide on forging friendships. “Friendship’s impact is as profound as it is underestimated,” she contends, exploring how one’s past affects one’s platonic relationships and imparting strategies for making friends. The author explains the psychology of attachment theory, which suggests that how loved ones have treated someone affects how that person relates to others (“We feel lovable because someone loved us well”). She illustrates the three attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant) with anecdotes “based on true stories” (their provenance remains unclear), such as when she explains anxious attachment style by telling of a woman who so feared being alone, she clung to her vituperative dance instructor. Scientific studies undergird Franco’s thoughtful advice on building better friendships, as when she encourages readers to “assume people like you” because research has found that people who expect others to like them will act kindly, causing others to actually like them. The guidance is thorough, and a chapter on how people from disadvantaged groups can approach friendships with privileged people—or when it might be best to dump them—sensitively addresses the impact of socioeconomic factors on friendships. This has wisdom to spare. (Sept.)