How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion

Bestseller Yung Pueblo (a pseudonym for poet Diego Perez) follows up Lighter with a down-to-earth explainer on how cultivating self-knowledge can foster more fulfilling relationships. Recalling how a meditation practice helped him and his partner better “understand what we genuinely needed from one another,” the author calls on readers to use tools like meditation, breathwork, and therapy to fuel a “growth mindset” that involves releasing the ego and being open to change. With this mindset, readers can fine-tune their behaviors to “be more conducive to a harmonious relationship”—for example, by using arguments to practice “selfless listening,” or letting “yourself be immersed in [a partner’s] view of things” rather than silently preparing a rebuttal. While the author's tendency to repeat his central message that one must love oneself in order to love someone else can become wearying, fans will appreciate his tried-and-true advice, which is often paraphrased in prose poems at the end of each chapter (“The same defensive pattern that protected you before/ can stop a new connection from fully flourishing”). It adds up to a smart if at times familiar resource for revitalizing one’s relationships. (Mar.)