The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life (and the Eight Realities That Willsave You

Don't keep on thinking ""There's No Place Like Home""; never assume ""Men and Women Are from Different Planets."" Do remember that ""Selfishness Is Good; Meanness Is Not"" and that ""People Do Things for Reasons."" These are only two of the dos and don'ts expounded by popular radio psychologist and self-described ""reality junkie"" Browne (Dating for Dummies) in this book of anti-romantic, practical advice about common life problems, cast largely as answers to readers' and listeners' questions. (Each chapter concludes with take-home advice in a bullet-point format Browne calls ""shrink-wraps."") Browne draws on her clinical expertise, her talk-show experience and her store of common sense, advising us to look to our long-term, enlightened self-interest, and warning against short-term pleasures, pointless martyrdom, crash diets and self-destructive actings-on-impulse. Many readers will be happy to find out why and how ""charity always feels terrific for the giver and uncomfortable and controlling for the receiver,"" why casting oneself as a victim won't make things better or how the idea of ""falling in love... has been used to cover up the very real fears about intimacy, dependence and rejection that are inherent in learning to love someone."" Author tour, including interview on 20/20. (Oct.)