Catmopolitan

Author of last year's bestselling Dogue, Hochberg here offers a coy takeoff on Cosmopolitan. Editor ""Havana Purrley Brown'' writes in her column ``Pad into My Parlor'': ``We are a most wonderful and mysterious group of animals.'' ``Persian Passion'' tries to recall a night of love: ``I don't remember his face. Was it round and gray? Or lean and tan? Did he have a dark mask? Was his hair long or short?'' There are also perfect ad satires with products such as Katlua, Purrzazz by Clawrol, and satin and lace from Maidenfur. In typical Cosmo style, the fashion pages state that ``the Catmo Cat knows how to purrsuade her mate to purrform. . . . She's on the prowl and looking hotter than ever in feline lingerie too pretty to stay in the bedroom.'' Jackie Collars's Hollywood Housecats is excerpted, cats ask for advice in ``Cat Body,'' and the ``Catmo Horoscope'' notes that ``Virgo cats should scratch and claw their way to the top, if necessary.'' From her choice of typefaces to the tone of copy, Hochberg does a meticulous job mimicking her subjectshe earns her place sitting in the catbird's seat. (November)