You Have to Say I'm Pretty, You're My Mother: How to Help Your Daughter Learn to Love Her Body and Herself

Pierson, the mother of a teenage daughter whose""self-esteem was based on the circumference of her thighs,"" and Cohen, a psychotherapist specializing in adolescents, team up to write this encouraging and practical""road map"" for mothers whose daughters struggle with body issues. They carefully outline how mothers and daughters can improve communication, and help mothers understand that their own feelings--about food, their bodies, sex, etc.--play the primary role in how daughters perceive these same things. In chapters covering the basics of body image, mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships, the""care and feeding"" of adolescent girls, and sex, Pierson and Cohen show how girls use their bodies as the""vocabulary for their emotions"" (when a girl says she feels fat, she's talking about her feelings, not her need to go on a diet); how proper boundaries are crucial; how statements that mean well can make things worse (""You'd be so much prettier if your hair wasn't in your eyes""); how daughters test fathers; how to encourage proper nutrition and recognize""disordered eating""; and how mothers can empower their daughters to explore their sexuality but still feel comfortable saying no. This is a caring, clearly--even simply--written volume that will undoubtedly help mothers understand the kinds of pressures their daughters feel, and enable them to face the tough adolescent years as allies rather than adversaries.