I Used to Be ___: How to Navigate Large and Small Losses in Life and Find Your Path Forward

Pastor Chuck Elliott and wife Ashley Elliott, a mental health counselor, coach readers through psychological soul-searching sparked by loss in this sensible debut guide. Drawing on their own moments of grief, the authors explain that “our view of ourselves often changes because of our loss,” as “unmet needs are exposed,” triggering shame or vulnerability. To heal, it’s important to define the loss (when Ashley miscarried, the couple grieved the absent “life and... our hopes and dreams”) and address the often unpleasant labels that come with it (Ashley balked at “sterile medical terms” including “spontaneous abortion”). Readers are encouraged to rework language they find triggering (the couple opted for saying “our baby died,” which they found more empowering) and neutralize unwanted labels, such as “unemployed” or “divorced,” by “increasing... awareness of [the] strong emotions” they inspire. TheElliots also distinguish positive coping mechanisms (crying, seeking community) from negative ones (self-medicating, “shutting God out”) and recommend drawing strength from Scripture. Aided by reflection questions and bite-size prayers, this resource charts a manageable route through grief recovery, with especially useful tools for communication during moments of emotional fragility. Those seeking faith-based healing will find it a balm. (Aug.)