All married couples have conflicts, say the Downses (The Seven Conflicts); the question is how they handle them. In this practical manual, the authors explore common sources of marital disagreement, emphasizing communication techniques, an attitude of humility and a willingness to abandon old habits (such as avoidance or aggression) in favor of assertive mutuality. The "game" metaphor that is used throughout grows a bit tiresome, but the advice is solid. The book is accessibly written and attractively designed, with pull-out quotes, bullet points and sidebars. Readers will find the workshop-style appendices to be helpful guides for setting "rules" to govern fair fights. (Aug.)