THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING: Memoirs of Motherhood

Herman writes about the multifaceted experience of parenting with elegance and hard-earned humility. Her memoir first appears to be less about motherhood than about her experience as a daughter and a friend, as she recalls how her mother's depression resulted in her own lonely and isolated childhood, and partly fueled her lifelong quest for perfect friendship and companionship. But the relationship really driving this book is that between Herman and her daughter, Grace, for whom Herman vowed to be "the mother to end all mothers." Herman has a restless mind; she's constantly analyzing every aspect of her relationships with other adults, but somehow overlooks the ways in which her total devotion to Grace and her efforts to "meet [her] every need" would contribute to Grace's inability to individuate from her mother, and lead to a psychological breakdown at age six. With professional help and therapy, Grace emerges from that crisis, but Herman's writing about that period and how her own actions and history contributed to it is poignant and enlightening. "That sometimes... mothers and their children's needs will be at odds with each other in ways that aren't in the least apparent" strikes Herman, an obviously devoted, insightful and intelligent mother, as a complete surprise, for many reasons rendered clear by the end of this memoir. (Mar. 22)