BUSTED FLUSH

Fleeing a soured marriage and the general turpitude of modern life, Dock Bass retreats to a newly inherited Gettysburg farm where he discovers a trove of priceless Civil War artifacts, including a possible recording of Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg address. He is soon besieged by media vultures, an opportunistic rival claimant to the treasure and a number of shady antiquarians trying to cash in on the find. Fortunately, Dock is just the man to defend Lincoln's legacy. Indifferent to fame and money, Dock stoically restores his farmhouse while denouncing or physically battering every avatar of contemporary crassness; at one point he even recites the Gettysburg Address by heart, punctuating it with crashing hammer blows. Finally, assisted by an eccentric history professor and a glitzy investigative reporter with a heart of gold, Dock squares off against an evil gay antiques dealer and his henchman. Smith (One-Eyed Jacks ) concocts a frothily entertaining satire of the corrupt Civil War memorabilia industry, but the fun is somewhat dampened by the figure of Dock, a tower of laconic manliness whose censorious mission is to reclaim the project of historical commemoration from all traces of vulgarity and materialism. The incongruous result is what you might expect if Gary Cooper were to ride into town to clean up The Antiques Road Show . Agent, Ann Rittenberg. (Feb.)