Hold On, Honey, I'll Take You to the Hospital at Halftime: Confessions of a TV Sports Junkie

Chad is a hilariously funny TV sports critic whose philosophy is that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing to excess. And clearly the opportunities for excess in his chosen field are enormous, what with ESPN, the World League of American Football, remote control and VCRs. Between sharp barbs at sports bars, New York City fans and his own tiny attention span--the fact that there are 44 chapters in his book, half of the pieces original and half reprinted from Sports Illustrated and elsewhere, supports his claim--Chad takes on chatty sportscasters and analysts, his bete noir being shrill basketball announcer Dick Vitale. But the bulk of the book combines delightfully self-deprecating observations about the failure of Chad's marriage as a result of his addiction to the tube with perceptive comments about the suitability of some sports to TV, reserving his most scathing remarks for golf (``the greatest thing for sleep since the invention of the coil-spring mattress'') and hockey (``the puck looks like a runaway bread crumb''). (Dec.)