Sch-Vermilion Parrot

Brace yourself for more ``green'' novels like this one during the ecologically aware '90s. When George Kilgore stumbles across a five-foot-tall vermilion parrot being kept secret by the U.S. government, he embarks on an adventure that takes him from a California old-growth forest to ancient Mexican ruins. As Kilgore, the parrot (no garden-variety psittacinespok but a talking, prehistoric space-traveler) and a Czechoslovakian spy named Jill flee the feds, they get caught up in a quest for endangered California condors. The novel scores points for imagination but the plot is as tangled as a piece of environmental legislation. The characters' cynicism is matched only by their lack of personal appeal; these are people who say things like ``You sound so bourgeois alienatedsic I almost believe you.'' Wallace, whose ``eco-thriller'' The Turquoise Dragon also features Kilgore, skewers environmentalists who go to McDonald's and fret over the impact their orders might have on the rain forest, and lampoons part-time nature lovers hastening out of the woods to catch the next episode of Masterpiece Theatre. But wry observations won't save the planet and, unfortunately, can't save this book. (June)