Modern Nature

Fans of British filmmaker Jarman's Caravaggio and Wittgenstein , as well as students of gay life, may enjoy these journal excerpts; others will find them too obscure. The third of Jarman's memoirs (following At Your Own Risk and Dancing Ledge ) covers the years 1989 and 1990, during which he struggles to keep working despite his status as publicly HIV-positive, and he reflects on life, sensuality and the beauty of nature. He writes sensitive, observant prose, though the book's fragmentary style sometimes vitiates its power. Nevertheless, Jarman offers resonant passages on the tragedy of the AIDS era, how the ``heterosexuality of everyday life enveloped and asphyxiated me,'' and how, ultimately, despite being what some see as ``a `guilty victim' of the scourge, I want to bear witness how happy I am, and will be until the day I die, that I was part of the hated sexual revolution.'' He ends with parallel catalogues of the constants in his life: the flowers from his garden and the prescriptions from his pharmacy. Photos not seen by PW. (Feb.)