cover image Three and a Half Virgins

Three and a Half Virgins

John Blumenthal. Farmer Street Press (www.threeandahalfvirgins.net), $17.95 paper (286p) ISBN 978-0-9679444-1-8

This latest from the author of What's Wrong with Dorfman? tells the tale of Jimmy Hendricks, a lonely, middle-aged man on the brink of divorce, who finds himself reminiscing about his old girlfriends. Jimmy contemplates the what-ifs, all the while fantasizing about the possibility of reunion. But when he remembers the cruel ways he ended his relationships, Jimmy decides to repent in person%E2%80%94and if in the process a torrid love affair ensues, then so be it. As he makes his apologies, Jimmy drags along friend Morris, an Orthodox Jew, whose observant habits are featured prominently. Each of his exes gets her own chapter, with Jimmy first giving a full account of their past relationship, followed by their present-day encounter. However, this proves to be more of a chance for Jimmy to flaunt his sexual conquests and describe in detail how he tricked this series of hot women into sleeping with him. The novel features a slew of scenes that seem inspired by pornographic films, e.g., Jimmy's soon-to-be ex-wife turns to his new girlfriend and compliments her "nice tight ass." Blumenthal's bumbling main character has wit, and there are moments of definite charm in the dialogue, but not enough to salvage the flimsy structure of this sexual odyssey.