Rude Bitches Make Me Tired: Slightly Profane and Entirely Logical Answers to Modern Etiquette Dilemmas

Southern humorist Rivenbark applies her trademark wit to answering modern-day dilemmas of etiquette in what is decidedly “not your mama’s etiquette guide.” She addresses everything from table manners—in a section titled “That’s Not a Salad Fork, You Stupid Bitch”—to dealing with pushy, bragging moms or, even worse, moms who refuse to vaccinate their children. Rivenbark grapples with important issues like discord between married Duke and North Carolina basketball fans; the office co-worker running a “cake scam”; and “unsolicited hugging.” She decries etiquette degenerates like air travel’s “Entitled Recline Monster”; a woman so devoted to her politics she campaigns at funerals; and the slow-moving grocery store shoppers she dubs Saunteringus malingerus. Further topics include restroom etiquette, where Rivenbark advises men to “not tap your toes in a stall,” as “such behavior could turn you into a Republican congressman”; dealing with rude or lousy drivers on the road; and even proper Facebook behavior. As usual, her comments are infused with a Southern flair, be it a recipe for bourbon-soaked baked ham, the “Sunday-afternoon drop-in,” or prefacing awful comments with “bless her heart.” Fans of Rivenbark’s biting humor will not be disappointed with this latest offering. (Nov.)