Boomerang Kids: A Revealing Look at Why So Many of Our Children Are Failing on Their Own, and How Parents Can Help

Pickhardt, psychologist and author (Why Good Kids Act Cruel), examines the relationship between parents and their older children in this timely and practical book. The author analyzes the stages of adolescence, including a fourth stage (between the years of 18 to 23), which he identifies as trial independence. During this period, young adults often set out on their own, only to confront challenges that are likely to cause them to "boomerang" home again. Pickhardt addresses 11 common issues, including missing home and family, managing increased freedom, flunking out of college, unemployment, roommate problems, broken love relationships, substance abuse, indebtedness, stress, emotional crisis, and fear of the future. He concludes each with a "parenting prescription," describing ways parents can help kids deal with these daunting challenges and learn from their experiences and mistakes. Throughout, Pickhardt emphasizes that parents should neither criticize nor punish during this stage of a child's life: the parent/child relationship is now "horizontal" rather than "vertical" and empathy, encouragement, and advice without judgment is required. Although parents and kids alike may feel the stress and pressure of the "trial independence" idea proposed here, Pickhardt reassures that this period of transition is normal, natural, and rife with useful life lessons. (Aug.)