Fitting in Is Overrated: The Survival Guide for Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Like an Outsider

Felder, an author (When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People) and psychologist, culls his years of practice with ""outsiders""-including artists, environmentalists, celebrities-to offer a survival guide for the creative individual ""cut out of the loop"" in any number of situations, especially at work and with family. Felder examines trailblazers like Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, singer Macy Gray, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who faced ridicule, loneliness and exclusion ultimately to have thrived. In chapters like ""The Biggest Mistakes Most Outsiders Make,"" Felder focuses on overcoming self-destructive tendencies (chip on the shoulder, overcompensation), understanding your strengths as an individual, and curbing the desire to please others. Because people tend to remember ""vividly... the exact details of slights and criticisms,"" a single painful ""outsider"" experience can cause unwarranted emotional stress in a similar situation. To ""get beyond the pain,"" Felder offers practical but insightful coping strategies and exercises, questionnaires and meditations to build self-awareness and empowerment, and to accept the reality of toxic coworkers or relatives. Compassionate and practical throughout, Felder also includes chapters on effectively mentoring other outsiders and forming a support network.