Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

Stand-up comedian Colonna (Life as I Blow It) brings more irreverent tales of dating, drinking, and debauchery, imparting wisdom like the vulgar older sister you’ve always wanted. A propensity for horrible boyfriends finds Colonna dating a 40-year-old alcoholic with an “I Love Bacon” novelty T-shirt and a soft spot for strippers, a suitor who fails to mention he’s married, and a clueless Major League Baseball player who texts emoticons. Colonna contemplates the oft-tread notion of having it all—a successful career and love life—and advises on topics ranging from cutting ties with frenemies to faking your way into a restaurant without a reservation. Some of her stories, like attending a Luke Bryan concert with her mother, are mundane, but she maintains her signature charm and caustic humor, and the final chapter’s happy ending is worth sticking around for. Agent: Robert Guinsler, Sterling Lord Literistic. (Mar.)