Squeeze Me

At the start of this heavy-handed satire from bestseller Hiaasen (Razor Girl), wealthy 72-year-old Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a member of the POTUS Pussies, “a group of Palm Beach women who proclaimed brassy loyalty to the new, crude-spoken commander-in-chief,” disappears from a charity event for the local chapter of a foundation “committed to defeating Irritable Bowel Syndrome.” Kiki Pew’s fate isn’t a mystery for long. The event manager calls in animal capture specialist Angie Armstrong after a large python with a distended belly is found in a tree on the grounds. After beheading the snake, Angie stores the carcass without checking what’s inside the reptile. Crooks soon steal the dead python, from which they remove Kiki Pew’s body and bury it in cement. The Secret Service becomes involved after the thieves fail to secure the python’s body in the trunk of their car, and it falls into the path of a vehicle transporting the first lady. The unnamed American president, meanwhile, is a clueless idiot, enabled in his ignorance by his staff. Hiaasen doesn’t put subtlety at a premium. Those looking for light distraction from current events may be amused. Agent: Esther Newberg, ICM Partners. (Aug.)