Written in part as a response to that ubiquitous relationship guide, The Rules, this latest from psychotherapist and workshop leader Charlotte Kasl (Women, Sex, and Addiction) aims "to give people another way to think about meeting and coming together." Claiming the point of all relationships is to help each other become our "biggest selves," Kasl, drawing upon major tenets of the Sufi, Quaker and Buddhist spiritual traditions, stresses the importance of self-awareness and responsibility in any successful pairing. Loaded with anecdotal evidence gleaned from 27 years of professional experience working alongside couples, and read with poise, warmth and humor, Kasl insightfully advises on noticing our "attachments," or expectations, and what common traits all "long-term loving couples" share, such as spontaneous praise. In addition, she probes red flag behaviors to look for in ourselves (hoping mate will change, fear of bringing up issues) and in others (jealousy, blaming and ongoing addictions). While some may be slightly put off by Kasl's frequent New-Agey references to a "universal energy," her sympathetic-sounding voice and genuinely practical strategies will endear her to most listeners. Cassettes are conveniently divided into specific "sessions," including "Conflict Resolution," "The I-Thou Relationship" and "Sexuality," which makes it easy to return to a particularly helpful segment or to stop to complete an exercise, while lending a workshop feeling to the audio experience. (May)
