Unf*ck Your Shame: Using Science to Accept Our Feelings, Resolve Guilt, and Connect with Ourselves

Professional coach Harper (Unf*ck Your Kink) provides a chatty guide to overcoming what she considers to be one of the most pernicious and misunderstood emotions. According to the author, shame is rooted in unhealed trauma that causes feelings of alienation from one’s true self. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and “less Western” ideas, Harper discusses such practices as breathwork; “metta meditation,” which involves saying aloud or silently repeating “healing statements about yourself, another person or group of people” with the goal of encountering the world “without all shields up”; and ritualistic soul retrieval, or creating a personally meaningful ceremony to identify the “soul parts that have been lost to shame... and negotiate with them for wholeness and return.” Despite some awkward moments (“The fact that we aren’t doing any research on how [shame] emerges in relationships.... It’s just fucked, y’all”), Harper’s down-to-earth tone is mostly a benefit, allowing her to easily translate complicated psychological research while also framing more mystical practices in ways that will be palatable to skeptics. This fascinates. (July)