Devout: A Memoir of Doubt

Gazmarian’s dazzling debut memoir delivers a potent examination of the intersection between faith and mental health. Raised as an evangelical Christian—a designation she continues to identify with—Gazmarian long struggled with religious doubt, which is often considered anathema in her spiritual circles. As a freshman in college, she was rebaptized in an attempt to quell that doubt. A short time later, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Seeking comfort in her faith, Gazmarian found that her religion ascribed nearly all negative sensations to Satan, and wondered whether her diagnosis was a test of her faith. Fighting near-constant thoughts of suicide, Gazmarian eventually found stability with the proper cocktail of prescription medications, an open-minded group of fellow believers, and her husband and baby daughter. Rather than demonize her religious beliefs for driving her shame, Gazmarian embarks on a measured and compassionate examination of the stigma around her condition. By resisting easy finger-pointing and making a strong case for treatment and acceptance, she extends a hand not only to religious people living with mental illness, but also their friends, families, and faith leaders. This deserves a wide readership. Agent: Cassie Mannes Murray, Howland Literary. (Mar.)