Sounds Fake but Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else

Kaszyca and Costello, creators of the Sounds Fake but Okay podcast, shift to the page for this insightful take on asexuality, aromanticism, and other sexual identities. Kaszyca, who identities as demisexual, and Costello, who identifies as aromantic-asexual, consider what it means to be asexual (feeling “little to no sexual attraction,” though they note “this is not the same as sexual desire or a person’s libido”) and aromantic (feeling “little to no romantic attraction”), their experiences coming out as such, and the dangers of a society that normalizes rigid expectations of sex and romance. They also examine the ways being on the “aspectrum,” which combines aromantic and asexual spectrums, filters into other areas of life—dealing with parents, for example, who realize “maybe they wouldn’t someday be walking [their children] down the aisle like they expected.” The authors highlight the importance of platonic love, which is often viewed within Western society as “lesser,” and explain various nontraditional relationships, such as queerplatonic and polyamorous ones. Bringing important lived experiences to the discussion, Costello and Kaszyca prove to be skillful guide for those curious about the breadth and variety of sexual identities. Those on the aspectrum and allies alike will find plenty that enlightens. (Feb.)