The Chronic Pain Couple: How to Be a Joyful Partner and Have a Remarkable Relationship in Spite of Chronic Pain

Eloff, a psychology clinic cofounder, offers chronic pain sufferers advice for maintaining successful relationships in this compassionate debut. After she was struck by devastating joint pain a few years into marriage, Eloff realized that not only was her health suffering—so was her relationship, which had become stagnant and passionless. Here, Eloff lays out strategies to get beyond a “dull, survival-based coexistence” and build fulfilling partnerships despite pain. She begins with the need for open communication, whether discussing emotional or practical needs, or arguing more effectively by responding, not reacting, to one’s partner. A section on mental health offers ways to support caregivers, such as by encouraging them to maintain a social life outside the relationship. As well, Eloff explains how chronic pain can damage sexual desire (due to fatigue, stress, medication, and more), and recommends connecting through “everyday foreplay” (small, affectionate moments of touch). While relationships change after chronic pain enters the equation, Eloff assures readers that joy and pain can coexist. Though there’s a disappointing lack of concrete advice and couple-specific exercises, Eloff’s attitude toward chronic pain is frank, encouraging, and based in solid psychological principles. Sufferers and their partners will find reassurance, though they’ll be left wanting a few more actionable tools. (Mar.)