Asian American Apostate: Losing Religion and Finding Myself at an Evangelical University

In this dark, unsparing debut, musician Okamoto recounts leaving behind his Christian faith while teaching at an evangelical university. Okamoto grew up firmly “indoctrinated into conservative fundamentalism” and consumed by the “euphoria” of worship songs at Christian retreats, but his faith began to wane in college, and when he landed a job teaching writing at an unnamed “flagship evangelical university,” he vowed to challenge students’ conservative worldviews. But many didn’t come to such places to have their views interrogated, he learned—only to be more “in love with Jesus”—and the on-campus culture was rife with homophobia, obsession with the prosperity gospel, and blatant racism, including a surreal moment in which a student’s mother argued against interracial marriage in the Japanese American author’s classroom. Okamoto stayed because he hoped to help those trying to “reconcile the irreconcilable values of evangelical Christianity,” but the 2000 presidential election spurred the collapse of his faith and his gradual transformation into an agnostic. Though his caustic tone sometimes becomes grating (“I walked around campus muttering under my breath, ‘Fuck you. You there, praying by the coffee shop.... Fuck you’ ”), Okamoto’s perspective on being Asian American in a white, insular Evangelical environment is fascinating and candidly expressed. Readers who can get past the off-putting narration will unearth some sharp insights. (Apr.)