When the Miracle Doesn’t Happen: How to Survive Loss and Find Purpose in the Pain

U.S. Navy veteran Heneke debuts with an unflinching account of the sorrow caused by her mother’s death and an emotional ode to the faith that helped her endure it. After a 2019 leukemia diagnosis, the author’s mother, Christine Clark Lowe, deteriorated rapidly and died within a year, leaving Heneke—who’d been sure a life-saving miracle was imminent—in “almost unbearable” pain. As she organized the funeral amid Covid-19 lockdowns, Heneke learned to find “lessons and blessings” in the suffering, including gratitude that the two had formed an especially tight bond in her mother’s last months. Interspersed throughout the narrative are practices that helped her grieve, including journaling and writing letters to her mother, and questions to invite readers’ introspection (“When is the last time you allowed yourself to feel hope?”). While Heneke has a tendency to mix metaphors and lean on awkward figurative language (“Strength was nowhere to be found, and the tip of the iceberg had completely melted to reveal the boulder of pain I was hiding underneath the surface”), she offers perceptive insight into the paradoxes of grief (“subtle and overpowering all at once”) and her levelheaded approach to faith’s role in the process will resonate with readers (“God can handle our bitterness and anger”). Grief-stricken Christians will find actionable tips and plenty of understanding in this earnest outing. (Self-published)