Writing in a Convertible with the Top Down: A Unique Guide for Writers

People looking for a book that teaches how to write excruciatingly bad prose need look no further. Most of the authors' condescending advice takes the form of banal letters that sport cheery little closings like ``Yours while the light is long, Sheila'' and ``Replanted, looking at a clear blue sky, Christi''--a tone more appropriate to Killien's children's books ( Putting on an Act , etc.) than this allegedly adult title. Getting in touch with the creative self--``exploring the cupboards of your memory''--seems to be more of a goal than producing readable prose. Poet and playwright Bender, viewing criticism with disdain, tells herself, ``I must never listen to the words `good' and `bad.' '' But since she later writes, ``my friend once again, and once again not I,'' received an artist's grant, one might well question the shrewdness of her policy. A few writing exercises and comments on such matters as plot structure and character development appear amidst the anecdotes about berry picking and a beach holiday, but there are enough well-written guides to writing well that readers need not bother with this epistolary twaddle. ( Feb. )