Love the Way You Want It: Using Your Head in Matters of the Heart

The authors of this no-nonsense self-help guide want lovers and potential partners to get heart-smart. They posit a factor called Relationship Intelligence (RI), which, unlike the IQ measured in schools, approaches real-world problems as complex, ill-defined and having no objectively ``right'' or ``wrong'' answers. Yale psychology professor Sternberg ( The Triarchic Mind ) and Whitney ( Uncommon Lives ) aim to free readers from false romantic myths, such as the belief that ``chemistry'' decides a match or the notion that sex is most important at the beginning of a relationship. Using mini-case histories, quizzes and profiles of ``masked'' personalities (Blamers, Conflict Avoiders, Controllers, etc.), they guide readers toward becoming ``master lovers''--patient, selfless, never stagnating. Despite its pop-psych cliches, this relationship primer is based on uncanny good sense and shrewd clinical insight. (Feb.)