Crossing Paths: How Your Child's Adolescence Triggers Your Own Crisis

The coincidence of children's adolescence and parents' middle years can spark devastating conflicts, stresses psychologist Steinberg ( Adolescence ). His study, based on 200 ``normal'' Midwestern families' firstborn children ages 10 to 14, reveals that after idolizing their parents, adolescents become prone to challenge their authority and lifestyle. The author, aided by freelance writer Steinberg, notes the havoc wrought on the mental health and relationships of couples and suggests ways to avoid some of the turmoil. Besides the usual ``midlife crisis,'' parents are often beset by envy of their children, fear of abandonment or losing dominance, and depression--even sexual jealousy--that spills over into their work, while offspring assert their need for autonomy against one or both parents. The author of this sensitive and illuminating treatment recommends that adolescents ``deidealize'' their parents and that parents resist ``disengaging'' emotionally from their children. Author tour. (Aug.)