PW: Today I Am a Ma'am is a humorous but sincere look at "women of a certain age." How did it develop into a book?
VH: I'd been approached over the years about writing a book. I signed a contract and began working with a coauthor, but it wasn't forthcoming. I began to question if an autobiography was a good idea. When Mary [Tyler Moore] wrote her autobiography, she spent years on it, and she felt it from her heart. I think I have too little to hide to be interesting. Maybe when I'm 80, but now I'm too young to write an autobiography [laughing]. I'm only 60.
PW: How did you work with your coauthor, Catherine Whitney?
VH: I've known Catherine since my early days as a dancer in New York. Once that original contract ran out, I began working with Catherine, since the publisher was still interested in a book. We came up with the idea of writing short pieces on subjects that women of a certain age face. I started talking to girlfriends—well, women friends, we're far from girls [laughing]. We started collecting stories from friends I've known for 40 years. I thought I could share what women friends my age laugh about. So, I guess the genesis of the book was wanting to share the laughter, the silly stuff and the hopefully inspiring stories of women my age.
PW: What are some of the things you hope people will take away from the book?
VH: Don't accept or be crippled by the media hype that aging is bad or shameful. The average age for menopause is 52. One hundred years ago women lived to be 55, so menopause signaled the end of life. Now we live to be over 100. I want women to experience themselves as absolutely viable for at least another 30 years. I want them to ask themselves, "What am I going to do with the next 30 years ahead of me?"
PW: The book also addresses self-esteem issues with humor.
VH: It's easier to get the message through with humor. It's still a burden that women are judged by how they look and men by what they do. Women and young girls are constantly judging themselves by standards that aren't real. It's like those phony "Fabulous at 50" photo shoots you see in magazines. Magazines airbrush everything. If you think it's an illusion, then it probably is. It's not that Jennifer Lopez and Julia Roberts ask for it, magazines just do it to sell more copies. I've gone through it before. I've seen myself after a photo shoot and said, "Wow! I wish I looked like that!" God bless Tyne Daly with her gray hair. I think she's the only woman on TV with her natural hair color.
PW: Is it harder for an actress or actor to age when, as in your case, there are daily reruns of yourself from 30 years ago?
VH: I always felt more like a character actress, even on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda. I was always trying to be funny rather than glamorous. I think it's much worse for the glamour dolls. I haven't had any work done yet. But that's thanks to good genes. It's easier for actors than actresses. Actors are permitted to age. Gray hair on a man is elegant, but women are treated like they have a shelf-life. I went through the fear of aging and got on the other side of it. A lot of good things come from aging. There's great freedom in not caring what people think. Who would want to be 18 again, with all that anxiety and bad skin? The trick is to enjoy the time you're in. Embrace it. I'm looking forward to 80, not bemoaning that I'm 60.
