Bookshelf spoke with author Carolyn Lehman about the release of her new book, Strong at the Heart (FSG), which tells the stories of teens who have been sexually abused as children. Lehman is also a survivor of abuse.
Why did you decide to write this book?
One of the most powerful experiences for me in my own healing was meeting other people who had been through what I had as a child, and who came out okay. I think it is very important that we acknowledge the harm that child sexual abuse does to kids, but that is only part of the story. People of all ages need to know that you can experience this trauma—whether it is incest, rape or molestation—and come out of it a healthy human being. Most people haven’t a clue about how that happens or what it feels like.
Were there any books for you to turn to as a child dealing with abuse?
When I was a child there were no children’s books that reflected my experience. Zero. Zip. In the last two decades the subject of abuse has slowly opened up, but there’s still a huge hole in the literature, especially when it comes to exploring how people can deal with it.
That said, books were my sanctuary as a child. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on. Books like Eleanor Estes’s The Moffats told me how other families might function. Hero stories like Carol Kendall’s The Gammage Cup and Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy let me know that even the small and powerless could overcome great odds.
Today a lot of kids who have been abused turn to drugs and alcohol for escape and self-soothing. Reading is a much more functional addiction.
How did you find the people you feature in the book? Was it difficult to find people who were willing to tell their story in a book?
It wasn’t hard to find people who wanted to be interviewed. I think there is a real and untapped desire on the part of people who have been through this to reach out and help others. But I wanted the stories in Strong at the Heart to reflect the wide range of experiences in abuse and healing. I was also looking for cultural, geographic, age and gender diversity. So near the end, when I wanted to represent specific experiences—healing in a traditional Native American community, for example—it got more difficult. But then I found Sheena, an irrepressible and totally unique Ojibway 16-year-old. She was perfect.
Was writing this book hard for you because of your past sexual abuse, or did the process help you in any way?
Actually, being a survivor myself made it much easier. I had instant rapport with the people I interviewed. My own experience helped me to ask the kind of questions that took the conversation deeper. Knowing how much this book would have helped me as a teen—and as an adult even—was the source of my passion for the work.
Of course there were difficult times. The hardest for me was taking in the extent of trauma that our children are facing. The Department of Justice reports that two-thirds of the victims of reported rape are under 18, and one third of those are under 12. In the face of that, it seems criminal that we aren’t talking with our children about healing from sexual assault.
What do you want teenagers to come away with, after having read your book?
For teens who have experienced sexual assault or molestation, I hope that they will realize that they are not alone, that by seeing how other young people have reached out—called a hotline, told a parent, talked with a therapist for the first time—they’ll feel more able to take steps to help themselves. In the book, people talk about the choices they made and the ways they took charge of their lives. Being victimized as a child can leave a person feeling helpless. I want young readers to see that they have options.
Readers who haven’t been abused can see the crucial roles that friends and family members have in the lives of anyone dealing with trauma. And given the statistics—one in three girls and one in five boys will be sexually abused in childhood—the chances are great we all know many survivors. One 15-year-old who read the manuscript told me that even though she hadn’t been abused herself, “It’s good to see how people come through the really harsh stuff. Sometime in my life something bad will probably happen. I feel more prepared to deal with it now.”
So for both kinds of readers, what I’d want them to take from the book is a sense of hope and personal power, the knowledge that they can face adversity and come out okay, even stronger, in the end.
Further information about the author and book, as well as links to Web sites for those looking for help, can be found at www.strongattheheart.com.
