In the latest offering from Thomas Nelson’s GentleManners series, John Bridges—author of seven titles in the series—updates his guide for young men (“especially for boys ages 8-14”), 50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know. Tip Sheet got in touch with Bridges over e-mail to find out what’s new in the new edition, out on January 3.
So what’s changed in young men's manners?
Logically enough, we’ve dealt more with social media, and cell phone manners. Since this technology changes every 15 minutes, it’s a rush to stay on top of it, not just for etiquette quibblers, but for parents as well. For good or ill, the default option, when it comes to advising about well-mannered use of social media is probably the social media itself.
What’s the most important thing the up-and-coming generation needs to know in order to be a gentleman?
It’s the same old same-old: they need to know how to say “Please” and “Thank you.” That may sound simplistic, but if a young guy can get these basic principles drummed into his brain (through the ear-buds and underneath the baseball cap), it probably means he will have some modicum of consideration for other people, and will pay attention to the needs, and opinions, of others. And that, after all, is what being a gentleman is all about.
What’s the main difference in gentlemanly etiquette between younger and older men?
There’s actually not much difference, except when it comes to knowing who extends his hand first, at the onset of a handshake. In every situation, the older man goes first. Otherwise, the rules are the same: You take off your cap at the dinner table, or when the “Star Spangled Banner” is being played. You make sure to put down toilet seat. And you keep your pants pulled up. It’s up to older men, of course, to set the example. How else are younger guys to know?
What’s a gentleman to do in a typically uncouth moment—say, when he has to sneeze or cough?
A gentleman, no matter what his age, always carries a handkerchief, and he uses it. There’s really no acceptable excuse for leaving the house without one. If he does not have a handkerchief at hand, he stifles his sneeze or cough in the crook of his elbow. Handkerchief or no handkerchief, he always says “Excuse me,” even if the person sitting beside him on the subway is somebody he’s never seen before—even if that person is one of his parents, or his best friend. Sometimes he simply says “Excuse me,” as a matter of principle, even if there is nobody else within sneezing distance.