In Past Tense (Avery, Oct.), graphic novelist Sacha Mardou depicts how she unlocked years of personal and familial trauma through therapy.
Did you draw the book while you were in therapy, as a part of your process? Or did you do it later, after you’d had some distance?
I drew it later on. In my first therapy session, I told my therapist that I was a graphic novelist. And he said to me, ‘What you just told me should be a book.’ I thought I could never tell this story in a million years! But on the Metrolink rides home after sessions, I had time to write and draw all these moments from therapy in an abbreviated way. I was unwittingly creating this therapy diary over a two-year period. Then I started turning those into online comics. And the book came from those comics. There was definitely time to process.
What was it like depicting your therapeutic experiences for an online audience?
The thought of going public was terrifying at first. Because it’s not just my story, it’s my family’s story, too. And I was scared of talking about Internal Family Systems therapy—was it trademarked, was I allowed to go public with it? But the reverse happened. The founder of IFS reached out to me when he saw my webcomics and he thanked me for getting the IFS model out there from a client’s point of view. You see lots of books by therapists, but I’d never seen anything from a client’s perspective. The audience response was profound; I got such affirmation from readers.
What were some of the strategies your therapist offered for creating the book?
One was setting boundaries—deciding for myself what’s private, and what is personal but can be shared. He gave me the example of the novelist Wally Lamb, who would work with incarcerated women, who then trusted their stories with him. And he told their stories in his novels with real dignity and empathy. The other component for me was that I did reach out to family members and ask for permission. That’s how I found my way with it.
How did you navigate it with family?
Brene Brown talks about getting very specific with the people whose opinions matter to you, and how the people who love you will accept your vulnerabilities and imperfections. For those with whom I feel closely connected, it was about honoring their trust in me to tell this family story. Therapy was also about healing my relationships with them, it changed how I related to people—to be more open and vulnerable.
My book talks about generational trauma. I want to pass this all on to my daughter: give her the story without giving her the emotional baggage.
