The cartoonist and biologist explores their journey through trauma to self-love in Everything Is Fine, I’ll Just Work Harder.
What called you to focus on trauma in your debut graphic memoir?
I was compelled to tell this story. It was bursting out of me. And I know that I needed to tell this story because of the relief and freedom I feel now that it’s out there. It’s also not just my story. It’s the story of so many people who’ve survived sexual assault and experience self-blame. Like sexual assault survivors, lots of queer people feel internalized shame. We pick it up and carry it—but it’s not about us. It’s always about bigger things in society. Once I started seeing shame, I couldn’t unsee it. It’s everywhere. We all have these inner voices that are controlling us through blame and shame and “shoulds.” But I think there’s another way; a whole other world is possible for us.
Therapy is central to the book. How did depicting it help you heal?
Learning about tonic immobility [a biological response that causes the body to freeze] was a game changer that allowed me to forgive myself. I also had no idea how much EMDR [eye movement desensitization and reprocessing] would reset these core beliefs about myself. In healing, our biggest task is coming home to ourselves, finding our ways back to feeling safe in our bodies, and seeing ourselves authentically with compassion. I hope readers take away the fact that it’s possible. We have everything we need inside of ourselves.
How did your background as a researcher influence your approach to the book?
Research deep dives give me life and help me know myself. They help me make decisions—and writing this book helped me explore how research is a way of finding control. This book also challenged me to step out of that comfort zone and use comics to show what living with trauma feels like.
Why comics?
I love using comics to communicate science. You can use the structure of panels to create a rhythm that shows how you’re feeling in your body or what disassociation looks like. I used a water metaphor to convey the feeling of being overwhelmed and totally swept away. I have this whole ocean of grief inside me, so I tried to figure that out visually.
Does drawing help you unpack these difficult concepts?
Making a book is its own emotional journey. In my next book, I’m drawing comic essays about the emotional inheritance of parenting while estranged from my own parents. Writing Everything Is Fine truly felt like a gift to myself, and I hope it’s a gift for other people now, too.
