Cheeni Rao is an award-winning fiction writer and graduate of the prestigious Iowa Writer's Workshop. Rao's memoir, In Hanuman's Hands (Reviews, Jan. 19), is a visionary journey from rock bottom to recovery, telling how a drug and alcohol addiction opened his eyes to the divine and, in particular, forged for him a relationship with Hanuman, the monkey god of the Hindu epic the Ramayana.
Was Hanuman always part of your life?
Hanuman intersects with my family line in India. In the mythology, Hanuman can save you from a demon. The town of one of my ancestors was under attack—maybe from the British—and he went off to pray to Hanuman. After Hanuman came, the attack stopped. My family was very religious and always talking about Hanuman, so these stories infused my imagination.
Why did Hanuman become important to your personal journey?
When I was on the streets and at my lowest, feeling alienated and walled off in my addiction, I began to have internal conversations with Hanuman. In some cases, Hanuman manifested before me. Was Hanuman really appearing or was it my mind fracturing to cope with addiction? You could argue either way.
Speaking of disclaimers, your memoir begins with one. You say that though your book is a memoir, “the line between fiction and memoir is... thin.”
In some ways, this is in response to recent memoir. I am borrowing heavily from events and people in my life, but it isn't pure reportage. At best my memory is spotty because I was a drug addict. This line we draw between fiction and nonfiction seems arbitrary to me because all narratives create their own truths.
How does it feel to reveal so much darkness?
A lot of people who have struggled with addiction have walked a similar path. And I am really proud of the person I am today, so if sharing my difficulties allows people to enter my story, then sharing these events serves their purpose. It's nice now, though, having put it all out there, and it's a source of strength.
What is the most important event you recount?
I am most proud of the parts when I am in recovery. Recovery is a helluva lot better than addiction.
How does your family feel about the memoir?
I've had a difficult relationship with my family, but they are also proud of me for having written this. My dad told me to write whatever I needed to write. He said, “Write the truth as you know it and we'll support you.” This allowed me not to worry what my family would think. It set me free.
