There was never any doubt that I wanted to be a picture book maker. However, the universe of children’s book publishing was mystifying. I knew no one in the field, and I had this image in my head that the industry was like the Wizard of Oz: a giant green creature behind a velvet curtain, spitting out books.
While I was studying at the Rhode Island School of Design in 2013, I landed an internship at Tundra Books for the summer and was elated, terrified, and eager to meet the giant green creature.
This gem of a publishing house was not a green creature at all. We all had the same adoration for the storybook art form, and we all became instant friends. These were my people.
At the time, Tara Walker was the new editorial director at Tundra Books. She invited me into her office and made me feel right at home. We had a feeling that we had met before: kismet. I looked around at the books surrounding her and I was ablaze with excitement. I noticed that she had edited one of my favorite children’s books, Virginia Wolf by Kyo Maclear and Isabelle Arsenault. That book encapsulated everything I wanted to do: make books that were not just artfully illustrated but unafraid to tackle difficult subjects.
I worked at Tundra throughout the summer. By the time I finished school, I was completely lost. I had moved to Brooklyn, where I nannied and worked at a vintage store, with limited time and space to paint. Interning at Tundra Books was a far-away universe. My dream of being a picture-book maker felt dangerously close to slipping away.
But, through fate, I landed a meeting with iconic literary agent Charlotte Sheedy to discuss the book I had written. Ooko was a story about the chaos that ensues when a fox becomes convinced she is a dog. It’s a book about friendship and belonging, things I care about deeply. To my surprise, she loved Ooko. She made me feel like my dream career was possible again. Now we just needed to find a home for my book.
I deeply wanted that home to be Tundra and to my great delight, Tara, who had since become Tundra’s publisher, welcomed the confused fox with open arms.
I have created and worked on seven more books since Ooko. This year, I was particularly proud to illustrate a picture book written by Sheila Heti—a children’s book about death: A Garden of Creatures. When she approached me about illustrating the book, Sheila did not know it but I was mourning the loss of a loved one. It turned out that she was, too. A Garden of Creatures is about the idea that when someone dies, they do not disappear, they become the world. We brought the book to Tara, who had also lost someone that year. The three of us connected on a profound level working on this book.
I have another book coming out with Tundra this fall called My Self, Your Self. The seed for the story came to me in a poetry class in high school, when I wrote, “I have been with my self for a very long time.” I expanded the text, creating an ode to unabashedly celebrating who you are and honoring the people around you, using a cast of forest creatures to tell the story.
Today, my closet of a room has transformed into a brightly lit studio in the Catskills. My job is to explore the regions of my dreams and imagination. Even if it is just in small ways, I hope my books may help build another person’s internal compass.
Esmé Shapiro is an author and illustrator of books for children.
